Self Hate The Biggest Hate Crime

I Woke Up and I was in love

"Value yourself. The only people who appreciate a doormat are people with dirty shoes"

Learning to love is a painful experience.  It is a journey fraught with self doubt and insecurity.  Learning to love yourself is even more difficult and more frightening.  Here the self doubt escalates.  Here you question your worth.

As a young girl I never attempted to love myself.  I needed validation from the world.  Reality check! The world will never validate you.  It will ask you to serve , compete and it will laugh when you fail. The quest for external validation of our self worth is a fruitless one and can only lead to heartbreak.

My moment of revelation was when I came across the quote from Leo Buschalia. How many people with dirty shoes continued to walk all over me?  I realised it was time to tell them to take their dirty feet away from me.  Pruning useless and unworthy companions is as cathartic as getting rid of our negative thoughts.

I realised that I loved me.  I was only obliged to love those who loved me back as fiercely.

I will always be angry over injustice, cringe from hate born of bigotry because that goes with the mission I have chosen.  I will fight back with angry words when the world is unfair and whenever necessary I will take out my poison pen and fight for that is my life's work.  I, on the other hand, will never experience a moment of self loathing.  I accept who I am and I will allow myself to fall but never to be pushed to a fall.  I will never blame myself for anyone's mistakes and when I make mine I will correct them because it is within my power.

I love me mind, body and soul and have decided to prune all those who place less value on me.
Let's walk the journey of self love together as you fall in love with you.


XoXo

Me 

I am Beautiful Too!

http://deyuafrican.com/2016/06/i-am-beautiful-too/

As published by Deyu African

How Should Women Respond to Public Violence

http://herzimbabwe.co.zw/2015/12/8813/

As published by Her Zimbabwe.

IT'S TIME FOR ZIMBABWEAN WOMEN TO CLAIM SPACE IN THE FILM INDUSTRY

ttp://herzimbabwe.co.zw/2015/10/its-time-for-zimbabwean-women-to-claim-space-in-the-film-industry/
Article from Karen Mukwasi as published by Her Zimbabwe on 29/10/217

It’s Time For Zimbabwean Women to Claim Space in the Film Industry

I recently watched Beater Gardeler’s FLOCKING and was blown away.  The storyline, which centres around rape and the silence surrounding it, is very powerful as it portrays the pain and shame associated with rape, and then ultimately, the resilience of women.  Conversation with Gardeler at the International Images Film Festival (IIFF) afterwards was enlightening as she spoke about the rise of a movement of Swedish female filmmakers telling those stories society would much rather sweep under the carpet.  I have had similar experiences when watching other international films, including THE JOURNEY TO HER SMILE, a film by Indian filmmaker, Sucheta Phule.  She also dares to tackle child sexual abuse, a subject her community prefers to turn a blind eye to.  She even goes on to question child safety in educational institutions.  These films by women open the doors for rigorous discussions about issues directly affecting women.

Internationally, women are finding their voices in film, and telling their own stories.  We need more of that on the continent, and mostly in Zimbabwe.

Africa taking the international scene by storm

Recently, Africa has taken the international film industry by storm.  Actors and stories of African origin have been accepted into that sacred place, Hollywood and this has been a long time coming.  HALF OF A YELLOW SUN,  an adaptation of Chimamanda Adichie's book of the same title took the film industry by storm.  Directed by Nigerian Biyi Bandele it features an array of actors of African origin such as Chiwetel Ejiofor, Genevive Nnjaji and Hakeem Kae- Kazim.   Lupita Nyong’o was the first black African woman to win an Oscar and only in the 84^th year of the Academy Awards did this become possible.

Zimbabweans have also found space in this rising growth of African narratives.  Actors like Arnold Chirisa have managed to find a place in Hollywood.  Danai Gurira has become a household name in film, television and theatre.  As an actress and playwright she is putting Zimbabwe on the map.

The challenges of women’s film making in Zimbabwe

A movement of African women filmmakers has started on the continent and this includes critical women’s voices like those of  Judy Keene (Kenya), Tope Oshin Ogun (Nigeria) and many others who are challenging the status quo, in the process finding support and audience in their respective countries, and the Diaspora. Women's movements on the continent have realised that film is an important vehicle for women's voices and have created forums such as the African women in Film Forum (AWIFF).  This platform  founded by the African Women's development Fund (AWDF) aims to create conversation on how women film makers can contribute towards efforts to foster gender equality and social justice . 

Unfortunately, the revolution has not quite found its way to Zimbabwe.  Even with iconic figures such as Tsitsi Dangarembga, Rumbi Katedza and Nakai Matema the vacuum has not been filled.  This is not for lack of skills and training, however;   Zimbabwe Film and Television School of Southern Africa (ZIFTESSA) is producing female graduates.  A lot of young women have come home with film degrees from international universities only to find to find that the industry has no use for them.  Usually they opt to leave the country and go where their skills are appreciated.  

Women Filmmakers of Zimbabwe was created to address the underrepresentation of women in the industries. Festivals like the International Images Film Festival for Women (IIFF) and the Women's Art Festival (WAFEST) are providing space to celebrate women in film, and expose local audiences to the power of women-centred narratives. Still, these efforts tend to feel lonely and isolated. 

Additionally, the local industry tends to be divorced from women’s issues such as sexual violence, exclusion form economic and political spaces and the safety of the girl child.  This is dangerous for every woman in Zimbabwe.   The stories tend to promote stereotypes of women. They  lean towards either women as victims or as the villains trying to destroy other women.  They are always in need of men to change their world.   These films conveniently ignore the versatility and strength of women.  Women have to dig into the archives to come up with films like PERETERA MANETA (2005), SHARING DAY (2008).  These films show the importance of deliberate moves made by women to tell their own stories. The one dimensional characters in male authored narratives are challenged by these powerful films.  They show the suffering but also the endurance and the power to change the situations of other women.  The films remain relevant to women's struggles  more than a decade after they were made.

Women's representation

Film is about telling stories and any effort to develop it should take into consideration the voices of women.  The African woman is an important subject as her struggles and triumphs are unique.  And sadly, this has often led to her story being appropriated by male filmmakers. When men tell such stories, their ideas of women and feminism prevail; even for the well-intentioned male, research and empathy cannot substitute experience. As such, women’s stories need to be authored by women themselves.  While there has been a great uproar about the appropriation of African stories by western industries, I believe there should be even greater noise around the appropriation of women’s stories by men.

There is however a need for women who are motivated by the passion to challenge the negative narrative about women.  Our women's movement needs to  recognise the potential of audio visual narratives and begin to campaign for this critical space.  By showcasing positive images of Zimbabwean women and highlighting their struggles we can go a long way in building their strength.  The young voices who are struggling to break into the industry need support and there is a need for mechanisms that will pave a way for mentoring and skills transfer.  The training is necessary and so are women filmmakers who have the women’s agenda at heart. Women in other sectors also need to realise the importance of space for film and the need to fight for it.

Like any other male dominated sphere, only a full-scale invasion will open up the space for women. 

When my brother violates me

Last night I revisited Richard Attenborough's CRY FREEDOM.  In that cinema i fell in love with Biko all over again.  Over and over again Biko was attacked for encouraging a new form of racism, black racism.  As the apartheid government propagated hatred,Biko preached his gospel based on a new found pride in being black.

I look at my Africa today and i cannot wondering how Biko would have felt if he lived today.  There is so much black on on black violence and all our calamities are blamed on the white man.  A lot of crimes are committed in the name of righting the wrongs of the colonial era.  Remember that is how the Hutus justified the genocide in Rwanda.  This is how we justify black on black violence today.

Police brutality has taken centre stage in African politics.  The message is very clear, "constitutional right or not, we will keep you off the street by all means at our disposal".  The violence in Zimbabwe is a representation of African politics at it's best.  Everyday the internet is flooded with images of Zimbabweans beaten to within an inch of their lives.  All this is a Zimbabwe that has been under black rule for 36 years. As usual, African leaders have endorsed the violations with their silence.

Black on black violence is the deepest betrayal of all that is African.  It is deplorable to rape your sister because she will not agree with your outlook of the world, to murder your brother because he sees things differently.  African politics today believe they earned the right to violate their brothers when they participated in their liberation.

Am i saying that a bullet hurts more when the weapon is fired by a black man  than when a white man fires it? No! Violence is deplorable no matter who the perpetrator is. I just feel that when my brother violates me i feel alone because then i know no one will be there to defend me.  When my children grow up fearing their neighbours,  how am i going to teach them about black pride.  If i have to travel to a foreign land in order to be free then it means all the men and women whose ideologies i follow are all wrong.  When my own brother violates me then he insinuates that people who claimed we had no capacity to rule ourselves were right.  I wish those who have decided to rule Africa by employing a culture of fear understood the perils of their actions, better still, i wish thy cared.

I'M BEAUTIFUL TOO!

"Merely by describing yourself as black you have started on a road towards emancipation, you have committed yourself to fight against all forces that seek to use your blackness as a stamp that marks you out as a subservient being." - Steve Biko

Nicely said Mr Biko!

So i was approached by a Nigerian woman on the street today, she wanted to sell me a miracle product. A cream that lightens my skin in 7 - 10 days.  When i told her i like my skin exactly as it is she looked at me like i had just told her i enjoyed going to work without my clothes at times.  She even promised me Chinese skin.  The major problem is i am not Chinese i am a black woman.  What is wrong with that?  I was born with dark skin is that a disease? Why do i need miracle cure?

Not many of my dark sisters out there can afford the skin lightening creams that have been approved by medical authorities what they normally resort to are the cheap harmful products that they can buy along Robert Mugabe road.  they understand the side effects but they will still use them. It has been properly instilled in them is that black skin can never be beautiful.

I had not appreciated the depth of this problem until i listened to Lupita Nyong'o as she related her struggle with accepting her skin colour and how she would wake up to pray for lighter skin.. Black women struggle with it everywhere and it starts when they are babies.  It is heartbreaking to know that young girls struggle with this issue.  They go through childhood wishing for a light skin and when they grow up they finally have the power to go out and get it.  They will do anything to get the fair skin even if eventually kill them

This to me is not a health issue, it is very political for me.  Why do our women reject the colouring they have been blessed with.  Rejecting your skin colour is just as good as rejecting who you are.  How do you take a cream with a label that says "White girl" and use on your skin? You will never be a white girl no matter how much pigmentation you lose. Why is it impossible for us to just forget all this and concentrate on the business of being black. Its bad enough that we have the second class citizen status women have been granted in this world, we have enough on our plate fighting that.Why do we have feel inferior because of our pigmentation as well. ?

My mother always called me a black beauty i grew proud in that knowledge.  So many times i have women use their daughters dark skins to insult them How many times have you heard a mother say " ibva pano kanongoti kusviba" - Get away that's why you are so dark.  So she believes its her handicap as she grows and believe me she will risk everything including all forms of cancer to treat that handicap.  As Mr Biko said if you are not proud of your blackness they will use it to oppress you. Lucky for me i embrace it and revel in it. #mytwocents

When my brother violates me

I sat in a dark cinema yesterday and revisited Richard Attenborough's CRY FREEDOM.  In that cinema i fell in love with Biko all over again.  Over and over again Biko was attacked for encouraging a new form of racism, black racism.  As the apartheid government propagated hatred,Biko preached his gospel based on a new found pride in being black.

I look at my Africa today and i cannot wondering how Biko would have felt if he lived today.  There is so much black on on black violence and all our calamities are blamed on the white man.  A lot of crimes are committed in the name of righting the wrongs of the colonial era.  Remember that is how the Hutus justified the genocide in Rwanda.  This is how we justify black on black violence today.

I find black on black violence to be the deepest betrayal of all that is African.  It is deplorable to rape your sister because she will not agree with your outlook of the world, to murder your brother because he sees things differently.  African politics today is characterised by leaders who believe they earned the right to violate their brothers when they participated in their liberation.

Am i saying that a bullet hurts more when the weapon is fired by a black man  than when a white man fires it.  The answer is no, violence is deplorable no matter who the perpetrator is. I just feel that when my brother violates me i feel alone because then i know no one will be there to defend me.  When my children grow up fearing their neighbours,  how am i going to teach them about black pride.  If i have to travel to a foreign land in order to be free then it means all the men and women whose ideologies i follow are all wrong.  When my own brother violates me then he insinuates that people who claimed we had no capacity to rule ourselves were right.  I wish those who have decided to rule Africa by employing a culture of fear understand the perils of their actions.